‘LOOK back, act forward’ is the motto of the Lockerbie Air Disaster and it’s also a fitting phrase for former policeman Colin Dorrance, who’s trying to create a positive legacy from the 1988 tragedy.
At the time of the disaster Colin was 18 and stationed in nearby Newton Stewart.
What should have been a happy time spent getting to know a relatively peaceful rural beat, was marred just months into the job with personal tragedy when a close friend died in a car crash on November 29.
It left him devastated. Three weeks after her funeral Colin was nervously on his way to a Christmas party at Lockerbie’s Queen’s Hotel. He was sick at the thought of a night without her, for she had been his date the year before.
But Colin never arrived at the Queen’s that December night, for fate had another plan for the young constable.
He said: “In the end, I never attended because Pan Am 103 hit Sherwood Crescent while I was on the A74 north-bound, just a few hundred yards away from the Queen’s Hotel.
“I diverted off the road and was at Sherwood by 7.05 pm.”
He reported for duty for what would become the longest, and most harrowing, night of his life.
Recalling it, he said: “On the night, I performed a range of duties across the town, such as helping to open Lockerbie Academy – which I knew well – and found my local knowledge to be really useful.”
Colin was also posted to the town hall, which became a focal point for enquiries about potentially missing residents. The main hall was also used as a make-shift mortuary, which needed protection and security, and it was here Colin encountered his first disaster victim . . . a child.
He said: “I remember standing at the Bridge Street door at around 11 pm, helicopters surrounding it overhead with searchlights on, when a local farmer stopped there with a pick-up truck.
“He had found wreckage in his farm land and the body of a young child, among many others. We took the child into the main hall. It was the first body to arrive and it was a moment I will never forget.”
He added: “It was shocking to go home at around 8.30 am the following morning and see the incident as world news.
“It was particularly upsetting to see the distraught reactions of families waiting for news in the USA and seeing the scenes at Syracuse University for the first time.
“But, you dust yourself down and get ready for your next shift. I was back in Lockerbie for 4 pm that afternoon.”
In the days that followed, Colin sacrificed his Christmas Eve and day to stay with the bodies of the fallen at the town hall.
He continued to assist, often being paired with Glasgow cops, so he could put his local knowledge to good use, until mid January when he was moved back to Newton Stewart.
Colin credits his strong friendship group and his age for helping him work through the shocking tragedy.
He said: “In many ways, being young and single was something of an advantage.
“I had a good network of friends, unconnected with policing, and in the weeks that followed, particularly when mixed in with Angela’s death shortly beforehand, I was able to talk a lot to them about how I was feeling.
“Looking back, this ability to talk about it very early on in the aftermath, spared me from many of the problems that appeared to heavily affect others, particularly men, who had children and families.
“Men have a tendency to suppress emotion and say little, which can manifest itself in all sorts of problems in later years, such as anger management, alcoholism, relationship difficulties and mental health problems such as depression and post traumatic stress disorder.
“I cannot say I have been immune from any of that, far from it. Nor will I blame everything on 1988 either. You are subjected to all sorts of other incidents and factors across your life and you do your best to deal with them, and remain responsible for your own actions and responses throughout.
“While that perspective can be healthy, difficulties can arise when people around you are concerned about the details of things and you aren’t.”
Colin remained working in Newton Stewart until 1991, the same year he married wife Judith and they eventually settled in Lockerbie.
Over the years his career has gone from strength to strength, helping to invigorate the Scottish police ICT system and being promoted many times over.
But one of his greatest achievements is becoming a father to Claire, now 23, and Andrew, 18. And it was his children that brought the events of 1988 back to him and started his change of attitude as he began to ‘look back, act forward,’ a mantra adopted from Syracuse University, which lost 35 students in the attack.
Colin said: “I’d say that in the decades that followed, I put the whole incident away to the back of mind and did not touch the subject at all.
“I didn’t know any of the relatives or very much more about the aftermath years – until Claire suddenly announced she was applying for the Syracuse Scholarship in 2012.
“It was important to me that she understood the background of what happened so that she appreciated what was lost in order for her to have this wonderful opportunity.
“I took her through what happened and she then went off to the USA. We became closer as a result, because at the age of 18, she began to realise what I had been through when I was her age. It was a very moving and emotional time for us all.
“She then blazed a trail of meeting families of the students from Syracuse University who had died and they were extremely kind to her while she was abroad for the year.
“The university staff were also wonderful and the archive department, which is the world’s biggest reference resource for Pan Am 103 matters, realised that they had gaps in their knowledge about the first responders such as me, so they instituted an oral history project in 2013 in Lockerbie to try to capture that.
“Since then, I have found it to be a wonderfully fulfilling experience to grow a relationship with the university and families of Pan Am 103.
“Rather than not talking about it, I have found the experience of revisiting the events of 1988 to be quite cathartic in my middle age years.”
In the last five years he has given informal tours of the town to university staff and students and next of kin on over 50 occasions, and said: “We’ve now as a family, had quite a number of those visitors come and stay with us at our home while they visit. It’s been our way of trying to repay the hospitality shown to Claire and Andrew during their time abroad. It’s been rewarding to stay in touch and see how the young people go on to develop in their walk of life.”
It was out of the new bond with Syracuse that the 3238 mile Cycle to Syracuse was born.
Colin said: “I realised last year that I was retiring as one of the last ever first responders to Pan Am 103 and that I wanted to attend Syracuse this year to follow in the steps of my children.
“I saw an opportunity to perhaps show support and unity with our friends in the USA by doing some sort of symbolic cycle ride prior to attending the annual remembrance event there.”
Money raised from the event will go towards providing a mental health counsellor in Lockerbie.
Colin said: “Mental health is an issue to us all and was particularly a feature in the town in the aftermath of 1988, so we wanted to mark that by doing something constructive.
“The motto of the Remembrance Scholarship is ‘Look back, act forward’, so we felt that a facility that invests in a healthy future was a fitting tribute.
“So while we will be remembering all those lost, we will also hopefully contribute towards placing a well equipped mental health service into Lockerbie Academy.”
Colin has been a keen cyclist for the past six years and has undertaken several challenges, saying: “I am nervous that everything goes well and that everyone participating gets something from it, and that it all happens safely.
“After all the talking and planning, I am really keen to get on with it and do our town proud.”
